Link to Mom's obituary

If you want to view the obituary we placed in today's Star-Tribune, click here.

More improvement seen with Dad

Kerry talked with the nurses at Hastings today and the news was positive. Dad has been pretty calm and responsive on three straight days now. He seems to do better when there's not lots of things going on around him, so they will move him to a quieter place when he starts to get uncomfortable. He watched most of the Twins game today and talked a bit with a nurse about his "boys." They say he does well when he takes his medicine but not very well when he refuses. Fortunately those bad times have been fewer.
The doctor, social worker and nurses will conference tomorrow and update Kerry on a possible release date, which could be as early as Wednesday. We are still unclear which nursing home he'll go to. We are checking out several possibilities to be sure that he's in a facility that is best for him.

Mom's Obituary

An obituary for Mom will appear in the Sunday Minneapolis Star and Tribune. Nothing too fancy...just the facts with a nice picture taken at Mom and Dad's 50th wedding anniversary party.

A Good Day for Dad

Yesterday (Friday) was perhaps Dad's best day since arriving at the hospital in Hastings. He was calm all day, responded to jokes by nurses, spoke more clearly, took his medicine willingly (even thanked one of the nurses for it) and ate well. While we are still realistic about his prognosis, we'll take it as a good sign and hope that his progress continues. The nurses say they are seeing small improvement but dad is still not ready to be released.

Kerry and Len Visit Dad

Kerry and Len went down to Hastings to visit Dad yesterday. Dad had had a calm day but Kerry and Len doubt that he recognized them. The nurse caring for Dad didn't think it was useful for Dad to tell him about Mom just now.

Julia has been working to get him a space at a more permanent living facility that specializes in brain care in the cities. The folks down in Hastings will continue to try to make progress with Dad for another week or so.

Funeral plans

We've decided to have Mom's funeral September 19th. 11AM at Grace United Methodist Church. Lots to celebrate for a life well lived and loved.

Our hope is that we can get Dad well enough to join us by then. Kerry talked to the Hastings facility today. We are trying to talk with the doctor down there tomorrow to figure what will be best for Dad with the news. The nurse said he had a pretty calm day but not much communication from Dad. They have adjusted his medications to try and deal with the hallucinations and paranoia while trying to maintain some mobility. This is where our heartbreak continues. The medical team still feels that visits will not be helpful at this point. We'll take this a day at a time once again.

I return to Alaska tomorrow.

Mom Passes Over

About an hour ago, Mom's body let her go. She passed peacefully. Kerry and Pastor Duane were with her when she breathed her last. We are so grateful for all the kindness and love so many of you surrounded us all with in these sad days.

We start funeral arrangements this afternoon. Mom wanted to be cremated so we'll expect to have a celelbration of her life in the coming weeks but not immediately.

Peace.

Another morning-Tuesday

Mom had become unresponsive but her body still hangs on. Peace appears to have taken hold. Vitals showing the signs of the last stages. Kerry and Len with her now. May join them soon.

Monday night

Well Mom is still with us tonight. She isn't trying to talk anymore. She was having a bit of pain this early afternoon so we got her medication increased and she was quite peaceful this evening. Len came back from appleton this evening after driving his family home yesterday. Kerry and Julia are here tonight having dropped their kids home today too.



We sit here watching the Twins and Baltimore. Only thing missing is our mother joining us yelling at the TV.



Mom continues to let lose of this world. Among the many astonishing things about Mom is once she decided she was done fighting, she never hesitated. Her faith makes her fearless. She has no doubt that she is going home to be with Jesus.

I expect that when we are ready to go that Mom will meet us at the gate with a nice hotdish. They may even let Len in just to keep her cooking for the whole congregation.

Kerry and I hung out a while with Eileen tonight. She's calm, comfortable and peaceful. She still responds to questions with nods, but no words anymore. Very weak but hears all that goes on around her.

Sleep peacefully tonight Eileen.

Sunday Morning

A beautiful Sunday morning with a nice fallish breeze and Mom is still with us. Kerry, Julia, and Len are down with her now.


The folks caring for Dad in Hastings told Len yesterday that while Dad was having his challenges there, there is no reason for us to worry about him. It's the type of thing they deal with and they have everything handled. They suggested to Len that he has enough to worry about up here. Kind words and we hope they are true.

It sounded like he was having a little better day yesterday.

Saturday night

Kerry, Len, Julia, Amy and I sat with Mom tonight. When she wakes, we are giving her ice chips. This gives her some comfort. She's taking a couple of pain medications and appears to be in no pain but when she's awake, she's quite cognisant of what is happening around her and quite able to communicate. Then she's back off to sleep.

Judy and Xavier stopped in tonight and sat with Mom for a few minutes. Judy and Xavier Alvorez have been like another set of children to Mom and Dad so it was good that they came. Bob and June Anderson were out to see another friend at the nursing home and stopped in too. Lots of tears and remembrances going on throughout the day.

We left Mom in the capable hands of the nursing staff tonight and they have been in every 20-30 minutes this evening to check on Mom. Mom is clearly at peace.

Spending time with Eileen at this time is such a privilege. I admire her patience, bravery, cognitive sharpness and willingness to share her precious time with me. We share a big smile and a laugh as we remember some of the past stories and mishaps over the years.

We have spent most of the day together today along with various other family members and she continues to rest peacefully.

Your continued prayers and support are greatly appreciated by us all.

Saturday

Mom was moved to a private room today at the nursing home. That should limit some of the noise and interuptions. She's appears to be in no pain and sleeps most of the time. Ev and Bob and Bob and Vicki stopped by and we had a nice vist at the house. Mom asked Len this morning why she was still here. The woman is ready to go and her body is slowly beginning to cooperate. We'll be watching now for any signs of pain or discomfort.

Another pleasant day of visits here at the house and over the telephone. Kerry is sitting with Mom now. Xavier stopped by this morning and we had some nice rememberances. Judy (formerly Stukel) and I had a lovely chat last night. The recogition of the amazing generosity and the key roles that the love, so freely given by our folks to those that they encountered, keep being told and celebrated.

That part of this experience is certainly rich.

Friday night

A steady stream of well wishes and company today. Just wrapping up a nice visit with cousins Jenny (formerly Snelson) and Bob and Mike Snelson. Kerry and Len and their families have gathered at the old homestead. The house bursts at the seams and all that is missing is Mom and Dad. Mom is still too weak to have company but the grandkids got a chance to say their good-byes today. Hospice facilitated pain medication for Mom and we started that after the grandkids got a short visit tonight. We expect that mom will now sleep even more and get some peace from some of the anxiety of the wait. She just wants to go over the river.

Dad is still struggling a bit down in Hastings. Len talked with the doctor this afternoon and they figure that if they decease the sinemet (dopamine replacement) doses it might reduce the hallucinations and perhaps some of the negative behaviors. Of course that will also likely decrease his mobility. From discussions with the staff in Hastings it seems like visits will not help Dad at this point. The usual stay for this facility is about 11 days. This is day three. We expect that Dad knows that Mom is dying and it has him shook up as has the major disruption in all his routines. We'll continue to consult with the folks down there as to the best way to get recognition of the reality processed. It just doesn't seem time to push this. Dad's deteriorated condition has been as painful to all of us as anything else and it seems so lacking in any good or right paths.

Hospice was in this morning and Julia was there to discuss things with them. Mom is not drinking or eating and the body just doesn't hang on without that. We expect that she will let loose of this world in the coming days. The hospice nurse who helps people through these things says that she's never seen anyone so ready. We'll count that as a true blessing.

Mom is just so weak so seeing visitors seems like it might not be good. One of the immediate family will be there most all the time I expect. Maia and I are headed over now.

Sat with Mom for a little over an hour tonight. Still no pain but she really wants it to be over. Body wants to fight on. Mom refusing food and water now. Kerry and Family coming in to town in a little while and will stop in. We'll visit with Hospice in the morning to see if they have any suggestions. As they say, there's no instruction book for this stuff. And of course what day can be complete without a little adventure. Kerry just called, nail in a tire. Oh my.

As for Dad, well the nurse at the Hastings facility said he had a better day yesterday. Pretty uncooperative today complete with a spoon throwing incident. Well, he's always been a feisty devil. Here's to a little better day tomorrow.

Thursday afternoon

Maia and I visited Mom this morning. Maia was able to sit with Mom for a few hours. Pastor Duane came in this morning and shared communion with Mom and Maia and me. Mom has it in her mind that she's ready to meet her savior and is eager to get on with it. We did some additional paperwork with Hospice so they can help us navigate these next days. I had to tell Mom this morning that it was going to be between her and God on timing. Her voice was a little clearer this morning and she says she has no pain.

A call from the Hastings facility this morning where Dad is staying. They said he was having a good morning and was talking and walking (with help) and seemed to be settling in. They are trying a few new medicines to try and deal with the dementia and there is some hope there that at least he can have some better days.

I know that Mom and our whole family appreciate all the kindness so many of you have shown during these trying times. Len, Kerry and their respective families will be up tonight and tomorrow. More later.

Kerry called the Grace Program in Hastings last night to check on Dad. We had a rash of tornados moving through the area yesterday afternoon and the storms moved over to the Hastings area. The last storms that moved through the area set Dad off a bit so Kerry thought he's check in with the Hastings facility. Well words like " he was having a "good" afternoon" was like water in the desert to all of us.

After a cup of coffee, I head back over to the St. Anthony Health Center to visit with the facility social worker to square away the hospice care and to visit with Mom.

Wednesday

The good news is that Mom is comfortable and doesn't seem to be in any pain. She's extremely tired but is in sound mind. She is in St. Anthony Health Care Center and they are taking good care of her. We had the Hospice representative in today and brings us all comfort that they will make sure all is comfortable for Mom in these final days. Mom is no longer eating regularly and tells us she is ready for the final chapter. Or pull the plug as she puts it. The pastor from Grace Church will be by in the morning and will facilitate communion for her. Mom is too weak for visitors but wants folks to know she appreciates so many folks well wishes and love.

We took Dad down to a psychiatric hospital down in Hastings yesterday. They specialize in getting brain chemistry right as Dad has been largely "on another planet" for a couple of weeks. It is heartbreaking for us of course to have to facilitate both care for Dad's advance Parkinson's condition and tend to Mom, and not be able to do it at their home. But we have done the best we can to get them both the best care that is available.